Zebra's Child

Living With Common Variable Immune Deficiency and It's Autoimmune Friends

Category: Beauty

Glorious Autumn

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Hello Everyone,

It’s been six months since I’ve posted, and I’ve been reluctant to dive back in because I haven’t known how regularly I’d be able to post. The process of getting our house ready to sell with repairs and what-not, drastically downsizing, deciding on the small number of things to keep, then donating/selling/giving away 90% of our possessions, actually putting our house on the market, then packing, and moving 500 miles into a small apartment in a retirement community dug me into an exhaustion hole so deep that it took me two months of sleeping almost non-stop before I felt half way human again.

But here we are, my husband and I, relocated, happy, and mostly sorted. Although there are still a sizable number of boxes on the balcony yet to be unpacked, and some disorder within the apartment that we are trying to contend with. I do still have some intense periods of grief over the people and places I left behind, but as I make new friends and put down some fledgling roots here, the intensity of the grief lessens. And our lives here are so much easier. We no longer have the responsibility of the upkeep of a house, and are no longer completely responsible for all grocery shopping and meal preparation. We are 5 minutes away from our medical care, rather than the hour of driving required each way in Los Angeles traffic, and we are now living in a geographically compact city in which most things that we need are within walking distance.

Add to that the fact that the air is significantly cleaner, and the weather noticeably cooler, and I find that I am incredibly grateful that I am no longer living in the smoggy intense heat in which I had to walk the dog before 8am and after 8pm in order not to make the two of us ill.

And here in Northern California, the fall rains have already arrived. We had a glorious weekend of two storms sweeping in with a much needed steady rain that was able to soak into the earth. I covered the boxes on the balcony with tarps, and then opened the sliding glass doors in the living room and bedroom (our only two rooms) so I could more fully take in the wonder of water falling into our drought parched earth.

How have all of you been these past six months?

xoxo,
Hannah

Eastern Building

Entrance          ©Zebra's Child

Entrance, Eastern Building               ©Zebra’s Child

Historic Art Deco, Eastern Columbia Building Entrance,  849 S. Broadway, Los Angeles, California.

Turtle Speed

Flowers by the Roadside

Flowers by the Roadside                  ©Zebra’s Child

My body’s progress toward healing and infusion recovery is slow but steady. It’s complicated by the fact that I’m still not sleeping well at night. Don’t know whether it’s the heat or just that I’m unsettled. At any rate, one of my solutions when I don’t feel well is to look for beauty. We had to go out for groceries this afternoon, and I saw these flowers along the way. Capturing them on film definitely lifted my spirits.

Birthday Irises

Birthday Irises         ©Zebra's Child

                               Birthday Irises                        ©Zebra’s Child

I woke up this morning and discovered that the irises I bought yesterday had opened. Already the day had started out a little more hopefully than yesterday. I’m here on the infusion unit, my head still hurts like crazy, and my immune system still isn’t happy, but I get to go home to beautiful irises.

A Profusion of Beauty

A Profusion of Blossoms After the Rain

                    A Profusion of Blossoms After the Rain                                                                                         ©Zebra’s Child

Cathedral Window

           Cathedral Window into God’s World

I sometimes think that as artists we are privileged to be given fleeting glimpses of the world as God sees it – full of infinite beauty in the everyday.

Hope in the Time of Drought

A Sudden Rain Storm

                                                                                 Sudden Rain

In the midst of our severe drought, a predicted storm actually arrived and rain fell for a couple of hours!

Improbable Hope

Improbable beauty

Improbable beauty

There are no flowers like this anywhere in the neighborhood. Yet somehow the winds brought seeds of beauty, revealing hope in improbable places.

Flowers on a Vine

These flowers were so pretty that I decided to use my iPhone to try to capture closeups.

“A Pathway to Joy”

This quote comes from an wonderful post by fellow blogger Su Leslie at Zimmerbitch, which is entitled “Pathways to Light.” She ends the post by posting a YouTube link (above), which is an excellent performance of John Rutter’s Requiem Aeternam. Leading in to this video, she writes,

The religious music of John Rutter embodies for me much that is truly good in humanity; a pathway to joy.”  ~Su Leslie

That sentence echoes deep within me, and is a perfect description of how I feel about John Rutter’s music. I have been privileged to perform many of John Rutter’s compositions, but the highlight for me came 6 or 7 years ago when one rehearsal we all walked in and found the score of his Gloria in our boxes. It’s a 20 minute piece, and at the time was by far the hardest piece we had ever performed. I seem to recall that we spent about 2 months learning it, and our musicianship grew tremendously in the process. The second movement, opening with only the men’s voices, is so beautiful that it almost broke my heart, even in that haltingly imperfect first reading. It is the kind of music that haunts me with it’s beauty, and I literally began to hear it in my dreams once we had been rehearsing it for awhile. It was then the kind of piece that is given to you occasionally in your performance life, that stretches your skill almost to the breaking point. The kind of piece that reaches inside and changes you. So that from that point forward, there becomes the way you sang before that piece, and the way you sang after. John Rutter’s Gloria became such a piece for me.

Gloria, by John Rutter:
(You have to click on the tiles on the screen after the first movement finishes (I Allegro) in order to listen to parts II and II. Be careful, as the tiles are not arranged in order. Listen especially to the second movement: II Andante. That is the movement that is the most ethereally beautiful.)