by Hannah the Zebra
Yesterday, although I was trying to accomplish things, my Brain Fog simply wouldn’t disappear. I woke up after a good sleep, but still super tired. I got up, fed the dog and let her out, showered, ate breakfast, and then started on a series of tasks involving finances, gathering various pieces of information I was missing for one thing or another, and making phone calls. How hard can that be, right? With each thing I tried to accomplish, I seemed to hit a brick wall. Or online information that seemingly had evaporated into the ether. And my brain simply wouldn’t wake up. Partly the fibro-fog, and partly the exhaustion. And perhaps I had put too much sugar in my tea, thus upsetting my delicate blood sugar balance. When my blood sugar dips too low, my brain loses the ability to think. (I am hypo-glycemic, rather than a diabetic, although the diet is basically the same.) At any rate, after a few hours in which I had accomplished nothing, I finally gave up. I ate lunch and took a nap. Even after a good nap, and dinner, I was still having problems. I went to rehearsal, and found that my counting was off, and everything seemed to have a lag time before it sank in. As in, “Oh. In that phrase I just sang, there was a second soprano division, and I just kept singing the first soprano part. Whoops. And it’s not as if I don’t already know the piece.”
As with many people with CVID, I don’t just have one medical condition. Fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, hypoglycemia, food allergies, asthma, migraines, CVID………. well, you get the idea. It’s not surprising, really, since most of those actually have their root in the fact that my immune system doesn’t work. But I find myself thinking back to my younger years when “all” I had to worry about was trying to control my wildly vacillating blood sugar levels. I once was able to work a full day, and come home and take care of young children. It feels as though those days existed in a different universe. Hopefully today I’ll be able to find my brain. Although if anyone finds it running around in its lost state, please send it back with Overnight Delivery stamped on the outside. Thanks.